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Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying February 10, 2007

Posted by tkcollier in cool stuff, Life, Lifestyle.

Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying – New York Times

I made the mistake of sending this to one of my daughters when it was 1st published last year on Dec. 17th. She wanted to know why I had sent it to her and did I think that she should get married. Well I won’t make that mistake again. Based on the 51% divorce rate in the U.S,, maybe more couples should ask these questions before-hand. Somebody must be asking, because this article keeps showing up in the NY Times most e-mailed top 10 list. It’s back at number one again today.

1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?

2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?

3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?

4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?

5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?

6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?

7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?

8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?

9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?

10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?

11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?

12) What does my family do that annoys you?

13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?

14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?

15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?


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