Category: Humor

Conan brings Horny Manatees to the internet

Conan brings Horny Manatees to the internet – TV Squad
On Monday night, Conan ran a comedy bit on NCAA mascots. Among the mascots was “FSU’s webcam manatee.” The gag of a gyrating manatee in front of a computer ended with one of the band members checking out the hot manatee on his laptop. Conan cracked that he must be frequenting “hornymanatee.com.”

The next night, Conan appeared explaining that, unbeknownst to him, NBC policy requires that any non-existent web address that is mentioned on the air be bought by NBC for ten years. We’ll never really know if this fact was actually “unbeknownst” to the Cone Zone, but it does mean that NBC now has among its stable of web property – HornyManatee.com – which has now become a Conan-related site for fan pics of hot and lusty sea cows in action. There’s a solo manatee, manatee on manatee, man on manatee and fetish pages. One of those should satisfy your interspecies cravings.

Office and computer pranks

Office and computer pranks | TechRepublic Photo Gallery
What better way to welcome back coworkers from an extended vacation than an amusing practical joke? Whether you enjoy the simple elegance of filling someone’s cubical with balloons, appreciate the effort required to cover an office with tin foil, or the comedic brilliance of growing grass on a keyboard, this gallery photo gallery will tickle your funny bone and keep you looking over your shoulder? You’ll be glad these office pranksters didn’t target you. Click on the image to enlarge and the Photo Gallery link for the slide show.

Hear the 911 tape: ‘Help, a gator’s got me!’ screams naked man on crack

Hear the 911 tape: ‘Help, a gator’s got me!’ screams naked man on crack: South Florida Sun-Sentinel

The article has a link to the TV coverage as well as the mp3 audio of the 911 tape.

” ‘I have two broken arms, and an alligator’s got me pinned. I can’t move. Please help me,’ ” the Polk County deputy sheriff recalled the man saying at a news conference Wednesday.

As Osborne listened, he followed the pleading voice through more than 20 yards of weeds in Lake Parker’s murky, chest-deep water about 4 a.m.

Then he saw them: a naked man slumped over, caught in the jaws of a huge alligator amid thick cattails in bloodied water. He said the man, who had been using drugs and lost a lot of blood, seemed oddly calm. Continue reading “Hear the 911 tape: ‘Help, a gator’s got me!’ screams naked man on crack”

Women talk three times as much as men, says study

Women talk three times as much as men, says study | the Daily Mail
In fact, women talk almost three times as much as men, with the average woman chalking up 20,000 words in a day – 13,000 more than the average man.

Women also speak more quickly, devote more brainpower to chit-chat – and actually get a buzz out of hearing their own voices, a new book suggests. Continue reading “Women talk three times as much as men, says study”

Puns – The Collection

I know that the pun is supposed to be the lowest form of humor, but I’ve always been a sucker for them. Thanks to John Milciunas for this collection of 20.

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.


2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Continue reading “Puns – The Collection”

The Pigeons are tripping

By Kevin Deutsch Palm Beach Post Staff Writer Tuesday, November 14, 2006 and thanks to Maria Collier for pointing this out.

WEST PALM BEACH— If Marvin the Falcon becomes more picky about his prey, you can blame the hallucinogenic corn.

For 10 years, pest control workers have fed the pesky pigeons that roost on the courthouse roof kernels of corn mixed with a hallucinogenic agent designed to scare them away.

Some courthouse workers are worried the chemical could hurt or even kill Marvin, a pigeon-eating peregrine falcon that has become the “mascot” of the courthouse’s 11th floor. Continue reading “The Pigeons are tripping”

YouTube misdirected

IE7 rejected, YouTube misdirected | InfoWorld | News | November 10, 2006 | By Robert X. Cringely®
In a pickle: YouTube is being sued by the Universal Tube and Rollform Corporation, whose utube.com Web site has been deluged by quasi-literate Netizens looking for video clips but finding rotary welders and de-dimpling machines instead. Apparently utube’s traffic soared from a few thousand to several million hits per month, taking the site offline. Company president Ralph Girkins wants the video site to fork over big bucks to cover his “rebranding” costs. No word yet on whether he also plans to sue Vlasic, makers of sweet gherkins, for borrowing his last name.