Category: Humor

A Lightning Bolt From Heaven?

keyetv.com – Religious Book Seller Struck By Lightning

If you are looking for a message from heaven, this is not what this poor guy had in mind. Is God trying to tell you something, like maybe you’re working for the wrong sect? Hailu Kidane Marian was working with members of his religious group, selling religious materials door-to-door in a Northwest Miami-Dade neighborhood, when the bolt from the blue struck him down.

“I heard a boom, and I looked and the guy jumped back, and he just laid there, stiff,” said witness Maria Martinez.

Paramedics say Marian was not breathing and his heart was not beating when they arrived, but they were able to revive him and rushed him to Jackson Memorial hospital, where he was in critical condition Sunday night. Continue reading “A Lightning Bolt From Heaven?”

Edward’s Barber Strikes Back

Splitting Hairs, Edwards’s Stylist Tells His Side of Story – washingtonpost.com
For four decades, Joseph Torrenueva has cut the hair of Hollywood celebrities, from Marlon Brando to Bob Barker, so when a friend told him in 2003 that a presidential candidate needed grooming advice, he agreed to help.

The Beverly Hills hairstylist, a Democrat, said he hit it off with then-Sen. John Edwards of North Carolina at a meeting in Los Angeles that brought several fashion experts together to advise the candidate on his appearance. Since then, Torrenueva has cut Edwards’s hair at least 16 times.

At first, the haircuts were free. But because Torrenueva often had to fly somewhere on the campaign trail to meet his client, he began charging $300 to $500 for each cut, plus the cost of airfare and hotels when he had to travel outside California.

Torrenueva said one haircut during the 2004 presidential race cost $1,250 because he traveled to Atlanta and lost two days of work. Torrenueva says he was hurt by Edwards’s response to all the flap.

“I’m disappointed and I do feel bad. If I know someone, I’m not going to say I don’t know them,” he said. “When he called me ‘that guy,’ that hit my ears. It hurt.” He paused and then added, “I still like him. . . . I don’t want to hurt him.”

Priceless – Almost New Yacht

hazards-of-stevedoring1.jpg

65′ Custom Built Motor yacht, staterooms, GPS navigation, twin screws, Supercharged diesels, etc. = $3.5 million.

Crane & Rigging, complete with faulty turnbuckle = $2500 per hour.
Champagne & Strawberries dipped in Chocolate, dockside for the excited “soon to be Owners” = $250

Watching your Dreamboat nosed dive into the harbor, accompanied by two Corporate representatives just prior to “inking” the final Paperwork……..

Priceless………………………………

Thanks to Glenn Dias, who actually stevedores for a living. Click on “more” for the pictures. Continue reading “Priceless – Almost New Yacht”

Hitchens Book Debunking The Deity Is Surprise Hit

Hitchens Book Debunking The Deity Is Surprise Hit – WSJ.com
Summer beach-reading season is just beginning, and already several books have broken out from the pack, such as Walter Isaacson’s biography of Albert Einstein, and Conn and Hal Iggulden’s “The Dangerous Book for Boys.”

But the biggest surprise is a blazing attack on God and religion that is flying off bookshelves, even in the Bible Belt. “God is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything,” by Christopher Hitchens, wasn’t expected to be a blockbuster.

Mr. Hitchens says he has received surprisingly little hate mail since his book was published. What does he think readers have learned from “God is Not Great?” “That your life is probably better led after you’ve outgrown the idea that the universe has a plan for you,” he says. “The cosmos isn’t designed with you in mind. You might as well just consult an astrological chart.”

Quiz – What’s Your Religion?

Beliefnet: Belief-O-Matic, Religion Beliefs, What Religion Am I Quiz — Beliefnet.com
Even if YOU don’t know what faith you are, Belief-O-Matic™ knows. Answer 20 questions about your concept of God, the afterlife, human nature, and more, and Belief-O-Matic™ will tell you what religion (if any) you practice…or ought to consider practicing.

Warning: Belief-O-Matic™ assumes no legal liability for the ultimate fate of your soul.

How To Discipline Your Children

Much has been said about “tough love” for misbehaving children.

Most of America thinks it improper to spank children, so my spouse and I have tried other methods to control our kids when they have one of “those moments”.

One that we found very effective is for me just to take the child for a car ride and talk.

They seem to calm down and stop misbehaving after our little ride together.

I’ve included a photo below of one of my sessions with our son, in case you would like to try the technique. 99-kid.jpg

The Gettysburg Powerpoint Presentation

The Gettysburg Powerpoint Presentation
And now please welcome President Abraham Lincoln.

Good morning. Just a second while I get this connection to work. Do I press this button here? Function-F7? No, that’s not right. Hmmm. Maybe I’ll have to reboot. Hold on a minute. Um, my name is Abe Lincoln and I’m your president. While we’re waiting, I want to thank Judge David Wills, chairman of the committee supervising the dedication of the Gettysburg cemetery. It’s great to be here, Dave, and you and the committee are doing a great job. Gee, sometimes this new technology does have glitches, but we couldn’t live without it, could we? Oh – is it ready? OK, here we go Click here to start

At our 40th High School reunion, Rusty Tunnard used this an a devastating example of the technological destruction of public speaking, and especially the art of story-telling.

Eye-Catching Arrows?

Palm Beach County metro report
WEST PALM BEACH – A Boca Raton couple, upset that their son lost most of the vision in one eye while participating in a game of “catching arrows” shot from a bow at a city church on Tuesday sued the Above and Beyond Community Church and the pastor they said supervised the game. Robert and Sharon Opkins claim in the lawsuit, filed in Palm Beach County Circuit Court, that the Rev. Kenneth Mahan was negligent in allowing their then-14-year-old son, Jordan, to participate. The game was part of an evening in October of extreme sporting activities held at the Baptist church on Sweetwater Road. The Opkinses are seeking an unspecified amount in damages. Thanks Jeff Ullian for finding this Police Blotter gem.

Bird Poops Bush

“Is there no safe haven for President Bush?  It happened midway through his news conference in the Rose Garden yesterday morning, in between his 10th and 11th mentions of al-Qaeda: A bird flew over the president and deposited a wet, white dropping on the upper left sleeve of his jacket. Bush wiped the mess off with his bare hand.”
Watch Video after an ad. Thanx Adam Brown.
The caption on the photo read, “The President encountered dissent from the avian-American community.”